- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- Acupuncture: a jab well done.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
- A circus lion won't eat clowns because they taste funny.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
- Somebody was running a flea circus but a dog came and stole the show.
- Tennis players don't marry because love means nothing to them.
- Those who watch too much football will wear out their end zone.
- When the plums dry on your tree, it's time to prune.
- At a pet store: 'buy one dog, get one flea'.
- When they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart.
- He bent over to pick up a sieve and strained himself.
- In the winter my dog wears his coat, but in the summer he wears his coat and pants.
- Police were called to a day care, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
- A thief who stole a calendar… got twelve months.
- A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
- Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U. C. L. A.
- Seven days without a pun makes one weak. Sorry!